Tag Archives: abundance

Be Grateful


“No one owes me anything,” is something I have believed for a long time.

They don’t have to buy products from me, they don’t have to be friends with me, they don’t have to take my calls or even like me. I’m not owed anything.

Every single thing in my world is a gift. Every friend I have. Every dollar. Every good day. They are all gifts


I L O V E looking at life this way because it causes my mind recognize the value of what I have and not take it for granted.  That’s what I’ve been thinking about on my morning adventure, making love to Boulder a little longer before I fly home. (I am so at home in this hippie town)

I have so much, I feel overwhelmed sometimes with all of the good that constantly flows in my direction.

Sometimes it just comes effortlessly, other times not so much, but still it comes.

Good things happen to me and hard things too… but they also have gifts and teaching me things I had not learned yet.

Being grateful for everything, and taking time to list it out in my mind, erase expectations and just SEE WHAT IS puts me in a state of grace with life itself. Could this day get any better?

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Favorite Things I Learned in 2015


Favorite Things I Learned in 2015

  1. Be as honest as you have the courage to be about yourself, and your life and if you happen to abbreviate what you share to others, always, always tell the full truth to yourself.
  2. Natural is best. All facades fall away and they’re a waste of time, money, and the few days we have here. Gather in what’s real, by first being real yourself.
  3. God is loving, kind, and in favor of each person equally. Always.
  4. Focus your time in business on WHAT YOU DO BEST. Do what you know works and perfect it. Don’t get distracted or side-tracked looking over the fence at other people and un-tested ideas. When you find “your thing” stay focused and expand and perfect a FEW THINGS.
  5. In sensitive conversations, drop all thoughts, and “I know” ego and stories and speak from the heart. We barely know anything. Eliminate assumptions and share simple intentions and clear requests and add nothing else.
  6. Ask open ended questions when solving problems like, “I wonder how many ways we can get new customers or I wonder how quickly I can forgive this and move on?” QUESTIONS keep multiple doors open for answers to come, and there are always answers. Always.
  7. Let go of every single, low, and negative experience you’ve ever had as quickly as you can, as frequently as it comes up, and as deeply as you know how to do, which allows love fill the space and for your life to transform to a higher level completely and unexpectedly.
  8. “Arriving” is a state of mind, not a destination. “Being enough” is a feeling inside, not an achievement.
  9. Some changes take time and a process, even if they feel immovable even if it takes you seven years to achieve them. No matter how long, or challenging, stay focused on what you want. We end up getting what we want and what we were willing to take.
  10. When people come into your life who love you and you love them back and you really deeply trust them, these relationships are sacred. Shower these people with appreciation and never let anything pile up between you. These are rare treasures.


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Teling the Truth and Making Love to the Moment

My body is melting into a seat at a local cafe in Scottsdale.  I’m 45 minutes away from my home and my office, which currently share the same location.  That’s a lot of movement for one address. These little ‘out of the city’ excursions are my way of easing restlessness when I’ve been working way too much under the same roof.
This is a new place I recently discovered, and it-is-fantastic!  There’s a little row of urban-style shops, mixed in with high end clothing stores that dot the space around the the Biltmore Hotel. This afternoon I’ll spend an hour or so taking it all in, probably not purchasing, and then I’ll be back here in this seat doing what I came to do…write.

I love writing


Writing brings me back to myself. It’s my secret, I-never-do-this-enough pleasure.  Some people hate it and I can’t figure out why.  They claim they can’t spell or don’t know what to say, but Windows will hold your hand with spell check, and when you start talking to yourself (about yourself) on paper, you never seem to stop.  It’s narcissistic, maybe.  Cathartic, definitely.


Ten years ago I began to write my first book, which started as this pile of loose pages in a black binder that I got for $1.99 at Walgreen’s.  I’m sure it looked like any ordinary binder, but this particular one had my journey of coming out of self-hatred inside of it.


You see, in my younger years, I was a self-loather that dated (and almost married) depression.  I began writing as a college drop out who had no life purpose other than what had been handed to me by others.  Inside, I felt I was nothing.  And I had the plans to show for it.  One day I had the feeling to write about the misery I was feeling inside and I never stopped.


Day after day, page after page, I put my wild, untamed thoughts down on paper.  As black letters spilled across white sheets of paper, something very unplanned began to happen.  Something I did not expect, and did not even know at that time in my life, was possible.


A different part of me started to show up.  Behind the negative, sad person I was inside, an older, kinder, much wiser version of me started to emerge. This was the first time I actually NOTICED my own thinking and I was totally surprised, shocked, at how negative and destructive I had been to myself for so long. Eventually the “nice lady” started taking over my thoughts and started running more of the show. (not without a fight.)


It’ almost as though scribbling it down allowed me to get all the junk out.  Those thoughts were like   mold growing inside a very old house.  It was in there everyday, hidden, breeding, and making me sick, but I couldn’t see it, but writing exposed the disease. As I got it all down on paper, it allowed enough of a space to clear so that something higher could come forward.
The Nice Lady was fun.  She was funny,too, and she laughed at my silly declarations of unworthiness.  She thought we could do great things. And most of all, to my tremendous relief, she liked me–no, loved me.  And I learned to love myself in the process.  (yes, I have seen a psychologist and no, I have not been diagnosed with multiple personalities :)


I think we can get to the real truth through writing about our experiences, faster than thinking about them because thoughts come too fast and they are so influenced by our conditioning.  It seems that most of them spring right up out our crusty old mental programs–and there’s nothing insightful or creative about that. Our minds have tens of thousands of thoughts spiraling through our head like javelins in a hurricane and it’s hard to see clearly in a storm.

Speakingand sharing with others can sometimes challenge our honesty, because if we are talking to another person, we are most likely censoring, in large or small ways Unless we have very very safe friends who can remain 100% neutral and without opinions, as well as be unconditionally accepting, we are unknowingly influencing what we share. We have a core need to accepted and we don’t want people to see us standing in our most vulnerable rooms, totally naked.


But writing…writing is where we can tell the whole truth about our condition.  We write for ourselves because we are the ones that matter the most in the equation.  The original text is not for other people, though we sometimes share pieces later–we write to come home so we know what’s up in our own lives.


Writing also allows us to slow life down enough to dip into the deeper veins of knowledge waiting to be discovered if we’d just give it a little more time and attention.It slows us down enough to see that our lives unfold frame by frame.
I love it when life slows down.  I love sitting on this bench with nowhere to go and my to-do list resting at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.  I love the faint smell of rain that just blew through here.  I didn’t notice that before.


I didn’t come here to get something done today–I came here to get undone, to BE.  Writing helps us make love to the moment as though it’s all we have and when we experience that, we find ourselves wrapped totally inside the romance of the most simple things. Slow motion reveals what high speed can never show.  Placing a kiss on the cheek of your child is an event.  When his fingers brush your forearm and your heart flutters while your body raises with intrigue–that’s epic.


I have often not had the patience for writing, because I was scared of it– I was scared to experience my life that deeply.  And I was fooled thinking that satisfaction, that real achievement was in winning the next race, instead of right here in front of me. Yet, when I look closely, I can see it in the brilliant, ordinary splendor of my current life.


I can see that real achievement — is to experience my own being. This is a uncommon accomplishment that few enjoy (and there’s nothing to win here, but your own life back.)


For me, writing is what brought me home to my real self over ten years ago, and I’m still using that tool to cut through different versions of a falsehood that try to invade me even today.


But I always know if I get lost in self-despair like I did ten years ago, or over achievement like I did ten minutes ago, I can find my way again.


Because I will always have a blank page to show me the way back home.

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Reborn Today

I have just been born this day.

It is as though I have never existed before Now. Everything is new again, everything is alive with Joy, and with L-I-F-E. There is no past in my mind. There are no post regrets, no such thing as mistakes. If I have been here before now, I have been a vessel on a river carrying my forward living as one thing, living for one thing; Learning.

I would say that I had forgiven all my debtors, but I don’t remember having any. If anyone caused harm to me, it was not to me, but to themselves and I wish them peace and freedom.

I would say that I had forgiven myself of my debts, but I can’t remember them.

I only have NOW. This moment, sitting outside as the sun rises into the sky, in the fresh Fall air, with the distant sound of a bird alerting us that it’s almost here.

The Day. The Sun. A new Life.

Here I Am.

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The Biggest Enemy to Your Success is This ONE Thing.

You are free to create whatever you want in your life.

Creation is a few very simple steps… (repeated over and over again)

When this process is clear and un-obstructed, you can get what you want.
You can start a new business and succeed at it.
You can set a goal and experience yourself achieving it

Unfortunately, creation has an enemy and the enemy is inside of you.
It’s the MIND.

The mind is a MASTER RECORDER and the contents of the mind will play back the unfilled needs and failure of your past.
(and sometimes even your parent’s past)

This continual replay of the past, IMPEDES the PROCESS of what you are trying to do TODAY.

It’s CLOUDS what is otherwise a clear runway and makes taking off difficult, even terrifying for some people to go for what they want!

THE PAST–or your memory and interpretations of the past–are your biggest HINDRANCES.

What most people don’t know about the universe is that it’s set up to help you succeed at what YOU want.
And you may not know that. It’s almost like the earth wants you to be a brilliant success.
The universe has a natural way of things unfolding in their own time and way.  It’s the same with your personal goals and dreams, just like it is with the weather.

If you will get out of the way with the creation process, you will see that you are destined to succeed far GREATER than a little mind linked to a limited past can imagine.

And you will see how NATURAL it all is.

You FEEL a DESIRE, a goal you want to achieve.  yellowhighthoughts
That goal becomes an INTENTION, a wanting, a desire moving into activity.
Then you ACT. You go get things done.  You move, you complete tasks.

The doing comes naturally. You know what to DO, whom to talk to, when to ask for help and what questions need answered first.

It’s simple. It’s powerful. It’s like something wants to be created THROUGH you, and if you open your mind and stop worrying about failure, and let your heart play totally and completely FREE in a huge realm of what’s possible NOW (not what used to be impossible back then) you will love every minute of what you are doing.

Another way of saying this is…. YOU ARE FREE RIGHT NOW,

But YOUR PAST is YOUR ENEMY keeping you down.
And your mind HOLDS the ENEMY right inside your very own thoughts.

Every creative, powerful thought you have is being shot at with arrows.

If you can clear your mind, you will  see the enemy where it lies and not take it so seriously. Eventually those arrows turn into marshmallows and you don’t have any reaction but laughter when thoughts of failure come.

This is the process.

To be your very own best friend.

Let yourself DESIRE every good, wonderful, successful thing you possible can imagine.

And recognize that you were born to be a CREATOR from on high, this moment, with the project that’s in front of you, on this brand new day that you’ve never before had and will never have again.

And that the whole thing is completely untouched waiting for you to crush it.

When you are THAT clear; THAT powerful.
I dare you not to succeed.

You already know you will.

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The Warrior Retires the Swords for Fluffy Pink Pajamas. (Part 1)

I don’t know how to relax.
I mean, really relax. Like way deep down inside where my cells sigh and say, “ahhhhhhh.”

I hear that people take vacations to relax, and I can do that for a day or two before I’m sneaking off to use my cell phone in the bathroom stall to text my office manager to see how the sales are coming.  (She usually tells me to knock it off. Though I do believe at this very moment she is in vacation in London answering office emails. Clearly, I pulled her over the other side.)

I do know how to take slow, deep breaths.   
And meditate.
And pray.
And surrender my life to this moment…

For five minutes at a time.

But on that sixth minute?
Surrender is a pile of horse shizzle ten miles on the road behind me, because I’ve already jumped back into the saddle and I’m driving at life full speed ahead with whips in my hands.

I would like to learn to relax.

But who will clean the house, pay the bills, drop off the kids, and look for the lost pair of church pants every single Sunday for ten years running?  Who will do the tele-seminars, and send you the recordings within twenty-four hours, thank you very much, train the teams, and create new email campaigns?

The relaxed lady with her feet kicked up in the air, sipping a Virgin Pina Colada (I had to add that, because it just seemed right even though I don’t drink Pina Coladas. I’m also not a virgin. Thankfully.)

I think not.  She is a lovely idea in my mind.  A woman that I ONE DAY want to be.

But I honestly do not know how.  The healer in me would love to retire the warrior for one day, or forty-seven, but warriors do not retire easily.  You know what usually happens to them?

They die in battle.

And this is how I really feel sometimes, like I am going to die if I don’t change my ways.  Well, not really D-I-E all the way, like 6 feet under die (let’s not be dramatic) but like all my circuits are going to blow out and I’ll be down, baby down, face first on the ground if I don’t learn how to relax more.

I want this change and yet, I find that I am a constant dichotomy–morphing between a healer and a warrior. A Siamese kitten, and a lion..

I am one part: “Let’s kick some business butt and conquer the world.”
And one part: “Let’s just sit on our butt and meditate and hope we can save the world.”

I’ve got quite the circus going on inside here, and I am sure you are just as confused. My readers and students must surely wonder, “Who is this lady? And how many personalities can one person have? Are we doing email marketing today or ascension meditation?
Is it SEO or EFT?”

However, I know it’s time to change.  I’ve been getting this spiritual message for many months now.  I need to relax more.  I need to slow down more, soften my ways, and live more frequently in the lighter side of my soul. In fact, last week during meditation, the message was so clear, that it was unmistakeably delivered in ONE VERY DEFINED sentence in my mind. The messenger was Christ. (If this is weird for you it only lasts a few seconds. So keep reading.)

“You don’t have to fight anymore.” 

And I had a visual flash through my mind. A visual of me with two swords in my hand, surrounded by a gang of people, and I was holding them off with clenched fists and long blades.

Now, this is not the way my life actually LOOKS … I mean the streets aren’t that rough in suburbia, but this is most definitely, how it FEELS.

This is the chic that gets stuff done.

She’s the one that survived 10 years of sexual abuse as a child, the death of her father to a drug overdose, 9 years married to a husband with no job while he went to school full time (while she had two babies.) She wrote a book, started a company, went to 6 figures in under a year, broke sales records, created 7 coaching programs, all while putting dinner on the table every night (almost) and raising those two babies, plus two more.

When I need to do something, anything that might seem difficult, I go find her.  I go right into that warrior energy. She is intensity, and fire, and she will go animalistic on anything in her way.

Although, I am beginning to feel she is not the real me. I have played her so often, that I’ve “become” her at times, and not known another way to live. I think the “real” me is super soft, very gentle, and kinda yummy inside like a big fat warm juicy doughnut.  Much of the time, I can visit my life this way–but I never live there for long.

I think she is how I LEARNED to be.  She is tough because she had to be to survive this place. I love this warrior woman.  I owe my life to her. She saved my butt from defeat about 10,000 times and if my life looks in any shape, way or fashion to you that it is even the slightest bit glamorous or easy, we have obviously never actually met each other.

But when life feels like it’s a battle, you can get very, very tired and after three and half decades of one territory to claim after another, you long for a soft bed and fluffy pink jammies.

It was clear, that something had recently shifted for me.  I wasn’t just feeling it, I was being told that those times were over, or at least temporarily suspended. I earned my stripes as a warrior. I did what I came to do with that part of me. I needed that warrior side to tame some very rough territory these first few decades of earth life. I went through hell and healed it. I birthed the babies and the book.  I started the company and the coaching programs.

And now the General was changing my marching orders…
“You don’t need to fight anymore.”

Not a moment passed before I asked Him in total bewilderment, but absolute sincerity …“How will I get anything done?”

He answered me in a simple, loving, “Let me pat you on the head, you well meaning, adorable, sweet, very young child” manner…

Just ask for it.

And then another picture flashed through my mind: A queen in her castle, governing her life, calmly ruling her affairs of the day with clarity and wisdom.

I thought to myself. Who would I rather be— The renegade warrior on the battle field, or the queen in the castle? And am I really so naive as to think that I have to fight and struggle to accomplish my mission here and that I will somehow do more good as the puny warrior in the middle of a fight, rather than a queen, calmly ruling her affairs.

And the next thought …

Hold the phone.
Is that what everyone else has been doing all this time?



I knew the message was right and I chose to follow it.

I felt peaceful…for a moment

But the next day, I went into total panic….

(to be continued) …. hopefully soon.

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Inspiration for Busy



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Overcoming Doubt & Fear…Being Your Own Best Advocate!

Hi Everyone!

I snuck this video out of the “Wake Up Academy” vault that I did for my students in my paid program for the 10-STEP MONEY MAP — How to get your health and wellness busienss set up ONLINE !

This helped my students face the doubts and fears that they were having as they had the courage to CREATE the life and business that they were proud to call their own!

Remember…YOU are the one that you’ve been waiting for!

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Taming the Boa Constrictor To Do List…And My Puppy ate Our Underwear

I’m sitting at Liberty Market in Old Town Gilbert, Arizona with the smell of gourmet french fries wafting all around me.

Not so great for the health commitment I recently adopted to address the five pounds I gained during the launch of a new company and a subsequent vacation to Lake Powell.

I don’t think the famous chocolate “Salt River Bar” I just ordered will help it much either. oh well.

It’s a Friday afternoon, so I’m out in the community in a new place soaking in the sights, sounds, (and smells!) of the city around me.

It’s Creation Friday.

This is the day where I create new articles, content, or record fun, spontaneous videos for my friends of my company.

I love Creation Fridays.  It’s a wrap up to a work week and a mental unwind before I immerse myself into the full-time experience of “Madder Maddness” called the weekend; which is basically when we all hang out together and get a whole lot of stuff done.

At the top of the To-Do List is to buy a dozen pair of socks for my kids, along with 10 pair of underwear. This would be due to the casualties of the abandoned puppy we tried to adopt and train, which didn’t work out.  (She had a weird thing for underwear.)  Now that she found a nice new home with my office manager Ruth Reyes (she is amazing) and the carpets are freshly cleaned again, the last thing to do is replace the personals that looked like shredded bits of Swiss cheese when we threw them in the trash.

I’ve glanced at my to-do list, and I see about 36 more things on it, each of them ideally to be accomplished in the next 48 hours.

Who created this madness?

Oh, yeah….she’s the one with a mouthful of chocolate, slurping down one Coke Zero after another (yes, my natural healer friends, I am addicted–send me all the herbs, vitamins, and oils you have :)

Sometimes, I feel like this “to-do list” is a boa constrictor strangling the life out of me.  It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on …. foreeeeeeeverrr.

No matter how much I run full speed to take it down one day, it’s always grows back the SAME LENGTH the next day.

It’s like it resurrects itself spontaneously through the night…

Like the bad guy they just keep shooting that doesn’t ever die.

Like my puppy that chewed holes in every single pair of underwear that hit the floor in our house. (Left the shirts, shorts, and pants alone mind you)  And would never ever quit.

Seriously.  We have seen the enemy.  And the enemy is…The L-I-S-T.

The list holds me hostage with false promises. Like, “When you get it all checked off, you’ll be happier.”  Oh, the lies…When I get it all done (which has never happened)  I’m just tired and crave television.

The LIST tells me that very very very bad things will happen if I don’t do each task.

Here are a few taunting me recently…

**Helping my son turn in the final of 5 pages of spelling homework.
**Writing a paragraph for my community newsletter about a service event.
**Following up on a $20 product a client purchased 5 months ago we never received an order for.
**There were 2 crickets in the kitchen…More pest control?
**Figure out why the Virtual Assistant can’t upload the new videos to You Tube.


That’s 2% glimpse of the boa constrictor. I’ll spare you the rest.

So, here’s my new game plan.

I’m going to cut off the head so it can’t lie to me anymore and tell me that I’ll be happier when it’s all accomplished.  Because I won’t be.

I’m either happy and peaceful N-O-W.  Or I’m not.

I can be HAPPY when I do EACH task…or unhappy.
Period. NOW is where happiness is at, never LATER.
Especially since there is no later. (Please see Eckhart Tolle for more on this)

Next, I’m going to lop off a whole section of the body and say 10% of this is just never going to get done.  It’s just not.

“Sorry, Mrs. W, you’re going to get 4 of 5 spelling pages this week. That’s all the Madd Madder’s have got right now.”

Yes, on the video uploading and the office manager can handle the product follow up.  “No” on the crickets.  Winter is coming.  They’ll die off, or call their friends for dinner.  Either way, we’ll survive.

Then, I’m going to take this huge enormous snake off my neck and stop taking it all so seriously.

Life. Business. Family–THIS gets to be F-U-N!

This is an adventure and I’m here for a memorable, exciting ride of love and learning.  I’m no slave to accomplishments for pretend pay offs that don’t exist.

I want to LIVE…Now.

It will all get done in it’s own time.  There are many many slots in my schedule for this list, but not e-v-e-r-y single minute of the day.  So, I’m just going to tuck this little Gardner snake back into my purse and pull it out again later.  I think I’ll order some fries at LIBERTY MARKET (love the name!) and talk to the table next to me because one of the women is actually singing in this restaurant for no apparent reason and I want to meet these gorgeous, random people.

If I don’t do this for myself, who else is going to stand up and actually experience this ride for me?

I AM the only one here to do it…with or without underwear.

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Why I Traded “Making it Big”…for Making it Now

For a long time, I wanted to “Make it big” until I realized it was killing my happiness

I wanted to write the next bestselling book, hit the biggest stages and start a talk show just like Oprah. I mean what up and coming speaker doesn’t want that? We are a dime a dozen, and our ego dreams are worth about the same price.

In the early years I was a slave to accomplishments–the next big sale, the next big product launch, the next new coaching program.  Because in those things, I saw “myself.”  I saw the lady that I wanted to be and she was someone else other than who I was.

She was thinner, richer, and more important than the current version.  She was happier, lovelier, and more people knew who she was.  I wanted to be her because she was a better version of me.  And she didn’t exist anywhere except in a pretend stage in my mind.  No matter how much I “gained” I always lost because the highs were short lived and they never satisfied my truer, deeper needs as a spirit being.

I gave her up for the sake of real happiness–and freedom,( and more sleep.)

If I couldn’t be “her” now, I wouldn’t be her EVER.

I replaced “Making it Big” with “Making it NOW.

It’s my own little magical secret to paradise. 

In this happy place, “I” have disappeared.  The “I” that needed something for itself through a BIG career.  It has become replaced with love for others and a desire for new experience.  I want to learn that’s why I “teach.”  I want people to be free, that’s why I “coach.”  I want to grow, that’s why I “create.”  I want to “love” that’s why I welcome people into my life.  Those are the reasons for the movement in the thing that most people call a “job,” which for me has become a straight path to enlightenment.

Deleting my ego and it’s addiction to the future has been the fastest way to freedom.

No one needs to know who I am.

I know myself and I love that person and that is how I found freedom. I don’t need people to know me, congratulate me, compliment me, or even be grateful for me, in order for me to feel good about what I do.

Feeling good RIGHT NOW is all I have…there is no other place but here.

When I have JOY in what I am doing right now, I am complete and the payoffs for my work are INSTANTLY DELIVERABLE.  There is no future pay off in them, because the dividends are taken home today. The future has become like a lost world for me and I have no desire to find it, because there are no better riches there for me than the ones I have already obtained.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t keep accomplishing more, meeting more people and making more money because all of that has happened for me.  It is easier now.  It almost comes faster now, unexpectedly and with total gratitude.

Today, I have no career plans to “make it big” someday.  I wake up in the morning and the first moment I am aware of myself, I open my heart and my mind and seek Divine Will.  When I get out of bed, I have One Objective–follow the Inner Voice.  The Inner Voice leads only to the highest good.  Some days it says to create videos.  Somedays it says clean the kitchen (not very often on that one :) Today it said to call a colleague and within five seconds of the message being given, her line was ringing.  She was struggling in her marriage.  I coached her by asking certain questions about how to be free, even if her husband didn’t change.  Questions she did not expect to hear.  Questions I did not expect to ask.  But they came to me and I asked them and she hung up happy.

I hung up happy, too.  She committed to try my new coaching program and thought she might promote it to her entire student base.   I didn’t expect that. I didn’t plan it–there is no way that I would have ever planned it because I thought she wouldn’t be a candidate for it.  Divine Will knew otherwise.  Divine Will said “call her.”  I called her.  Divine Will is like that, giving and giving and giving everything to me that I need to succeed today, and far beyond it.

I still make plans, yes.  Some of you meticulous types are probably going to leave a comment that says “Failing to plan is planning to fail :)  Just to be sure, I do set goals and objectives and task lists (Divine Will even dictates the planning hours.)…but I don’t attach expectation to them.  Even as I set the plans, I know they will turn out differently.  I know they will be better. I know they will lead me to LEARN more than I could have ever imagined or set forth on my own agenda.  I know that all will be provided for me.  I know that today, this very moment, I can be successful in who I am and love that place wholeheartedly.

Tonight, Divine Will said it was time to write this article. I am on a house boat with my family and some friends at Lake Powell.  Instead of our indoor cabin (with a sign that says Clothing Optional at the door, which made us laugh :) my husband and I opted for a bed under the stars on the highest deck of the boat. I laid my head on his chest with his arm around my shoulders and we watched the sky until he fell asleep.

As I stared at the heavens, I felt so small and so huge at the same time.

Like God could swoop me right up with a giant cupped hand, take me home, and I’d disappear into nothing and end up with everything.

It was so beautiful.  It was just like my life.

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