Category Archives: Stuff That’s Fun!

How Changing My Closet Changed My Life

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That’s a dramatic statement, but it’s actually true. The last few years, I’ve laid kinda low.  I let go of shopping and fashion (and every kind of appearance) and opted for a simple way focused on family and healing.

This Fall, I looked at my closet that was — absolutely bursting with clothes — and could find nothing to wear.  “How can that be true?” I challenged my conclusion, there has to be something here.  I started at the front of the closet and looked at each piece one by one by one.

None of it interested me. It was either old, not in style, drab, or didn’t fit me right and maybe never had.

An idea was born.

I am getting rid of EVERYTHING I wouldn’t wear right now. I ran downstairs, grabbed a garbage bag and started tossing.  A few minutes later, I ran downstairs and grabbed the BOX of garbage bags.  One by one I filled up bags, tossing in everything that was not gorgeous and ready to be chosen that day or the next to make an appearance. I tossed in brand new $99 skirt that still had the tags.  I threw in spectacular shirts I had bought on the tropical shores of other countries.  Shoes that still fit with no scuffs, t-shirts that had amazing memories attached to them.

If I’m not wearing you today or tomorrow, you’re outta here.

By the time I was done, I had a skeletal looking closet with a few items in each genre.  I had a few skirts, only two pair of jeans, some yoga pants, a handful of shirts and a couple jackets and sweaters.

Ahhh, can I get an amen for deep cleansing?

I looked in my closet the next morning and smiled.

I saw something to wear.  Not a lot to wear, mind you, but with all that crap gone, I could SEE what I had.  I put an outfit together and decided — perfect day for a shopping trip.

I created a Pinterest board with current styles and looked online a great places to shop.  This had become a hassle to me the last few years, but I was now having fun.  I would buy anything I wanted, and still wandered regularly to discount shops.

One day I had a spiritual impression and one I did not expect.
You know who you are to God.  STOP buying cheap clothes.

It was a reprimand, and it stopped me in my tracks. (I mean, I didn’t know those guys addressed stuff like this, I thought it was more like — big things, not clothing :)

But I needed it!  I had short-changing myself.  I had more than enough money to purchase anything I wanted and I was living out a generational pattern of — being cheap.

.  I am not against discount shopping and have needed to be there a good many years, I am simply saying for me at this particular period of time in my life, my actions were not at all consistent with my knowledge and I was short changing myself and it wasn’t good for me.

So, I headed to Nordstrom’s.  I walked around looking at all the styles and the price tags. I tried on a few things here and there and ended up with only one item of clothing I really loved and I didn’t look at the price long enough to remember what it was and I bought it.

I did that a few more times from different department stores and my closet, literally began to glow.  I walked inside and always had something to wear in under a minute.

It was in season, good fit, great style and I FELT great wearing it.

It was then that I realized that throwing out the OLD was what made space for the BRILLIANT.

I never would have seen it had I not been willing to get rid of the things that were TAKING UP SPACE, but had NO TRUE VALUE.

I’ve seen the power of cleaning house — relationships, business partners, items in my house.  Are they taking up space?  Am I saying yes, because it’s familiar or I’m just scared to say no.

I don’t know about you, but there’s a thrill that comes from cleaning, whether it’s my closet or life in general, I love it and I evolve as a person when I do it.

Hopefully, you know who you are spiritually, but if you’re still finding out, do yourself a favor and STOP BEING CHEAP.  That might look different for you — but you’re being cheap with your employment and you have more value to give and you’re pay doesn’t reflect that value. You’re being cheap with who you’ve said yes to when it comes to love.  Maybe you need to upgrade your business partners or your business altogether, but feel free to let go.  Grab a garbage bag, or the whole box and TRUST that something better is coming along.

But not until you first let go.

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I Approve of Myself

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Get Bright Lights Daily! HeatherMadder.com/daily-bright-lights/

Everyday, you are creating your life according to your deepest beliefs. The more you allow these “I am” beliefs into your mind, the more they will take root in your life.

A must have arsenal in your skill sets.

 

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Join Me Live on Periscope!

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Join Me Live on Periscope!

www.periscope.tv/heathermadder

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My Favorite Fails of 2015

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This picture. Super weird. Funny, but weird.

Graphic Design Fliers. I should never, ever make my own event fliers. Even if I think I have a good idea, even if I have a program that makes it “easy,” even if I think it will only take me only a few minutes….put it down, walk away, and call someone who can. Now.

Home made mango ice cream. Such a gorgeous picture in that recipe book, and so delicious when Patti makes it, but I am completely unable to replicate mango ice cream without creating something that tastes like sand with natural sweetener.

Zip the damn backpack. The best battery packs I’ve ever owned, and lip glosses and cell phone charging cords have been found by strangers between airplane seats or parking lots, because of that stupid zipper. So simple, but in a hurried moment, so often overlooked.

Graduating from traffic school for a second time. :) lol, that’s all I’m going to say about that.

All things electronic. Apple computer, I-pad, I-phone, all of these important items are over used, out of storage, not updated and frequently out of power. It’s a wonder I get work done at all.
Shout out to the handsome hubs for patiently and frequently fixing many of these issues!

Choosing to save $100 bucks on the slightly less expensive, but still very good dishwasher, which turns out doesn’t dry the dishes unless you put it on a 4 hour cycle. Saved $100 up front only to pay many hundreds of dollars in electric bills and 1/4 of my day waiting for dishes to dry. Being cheap is stupid.

Stepping away from my best and most powerful gifts in business to try some other, very good ideas to expand.  Lost many months of higher results and the passionate connection to my work. This landed as a favorite in my fail list not because I liked the experience, oh, how I did not like it, but because of the powerful learning it gave me of which I will never forget.  Always be who you really are in your work. Coming back home to my best gifts was like making sweet sweet love after a long separation.

The Swear Jar. When your ten year old daughter puts an empty jar on the counter and tells you to put a dollar in it every time you swear and she plans to give the money to charity, you laugh your head off…and then take a short pause to look at your parenting.

Buying your teenage boys multiple ukeleles and skateboards and funding the making of a skateboard ramp when you work from home and really want your house to be quiet. Need to start thinking these things through.

Paying thousands of dollars to a personal shopper who re-did my wardrobe only to realize a few months later, I actually prefer casual beach style clothes and then gave most of what she bought for me to Goodwill.  It was a lucky day for someone else.

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Living Room Remodel

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This is the space I come home to every day.

It’s not actually a new home, but it feels completely new to me.

We recently remodeled the main floor and it was worth all the money and effort we spend to create this colorful, comfy space.

If I would’ve known how I was going to feel with my house just like I wanted it, I would’ve done this years ago!

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Peace and Love

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My mantle.

Peace and love…
Naturally.

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Write Your Own Part

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I didn’t decide what I wanted to be when I grew up until I was about 35.  Until that long time, I still had dreams of being a spy and one of my idols was Trinity from the Matrix.

trinityRight after I saw that movie (I had a three year old at the time ) I wanted to buy black leather pants and sell my washing machine for a motorcycle.  I would have had NO place to wear those black leather mammas except at the park, which would have been weird.  I mean, I am no Carrie-Anne Moss, but I doubt even she wears them while playing on a swing set.

Of course, then again, I also had the dream of living in Laguna Beach and being a writer who lived by the ocean.  Knapsack. Flip flops. Anything from Quicksilver is a total go for style. Hair in braids or a loose bun, an old writing journal, me and the sea.  This became even more alluring when I found the Koffee Klatch, an eclectic style coffee shop right on the Pacific Coast Highway and manager Joe is a wanna be music producer.  I could totally see myself on those couches writing about whatever fell from the sky.

When I pieced together my current job, it was a miracle, and just happened to be better than both of those previous dreams combined.  

It was particularly astonishing to me, because up until then, I was deeply unsuccessful at everything I had ever done.

Like tragically unsuccessful.

In 6th grade I tried out for Vice President of the School.
I lost.

In 7th grade, I tried out for Cheerleader.
I lost.

I took a breather in 8th grade, in order to gear up for another flaming streak of losses.

I tried out for Cheerleader again in 9th grade.
LOST.

Then Vice President in the 10th Grade.
LOST.

When I was a Junior a girl named Valerie Frandsen asked me if I wanted to be the student representative for the girls Federation Club, and I had absolutely no idea what that was, and I STILL HAVE NO IDEA (I am not sure if that is even the right name for the title,) but after I received the call, I do believe I fell down on my face praising holy things.

The “girls federation whatever it was” got me a back seat ride on a BOAT on a FLOAT (sounds a bit like Dr.Suess), in the 4th of July parade.  Now, that is a sign that you have made it.  When you get to throw small pieces of hard candy at innocent children as you drive by them.  (Oh my gosh, she’s famous, isn’t she? Yes, yes, I am.)

I pretty much thought my career had peaked after that.

But to my tremendous delight, Divine Providence struck as a senior and I was called to be the President of my High School Student Body Seminary. (This is an optional religion class you can take during High School hours, when the small city in which you live is highly populated with religious people.)

I was told by the Seminary Principle that I was the first girl ever to be called to this position, and probably the first girl in the history of our entire church to have it.

I am pretty darn sure he was over-emphasizing for dramatic effect, but was I really going to question that?  Not one bit.

It was rare, and I finally had something to do.

I got to do all kinds things I’d only seen in movies…CONDUCT MEETINGS. GIVE PUBLIC TALKS. ORGANIZE EVENTS.

Oh my, I loved it, this was so much better than throwing candy at small children.

In a big double whammy, at the tail end of my Senior year, I was also unexpectedly voted “BEST LEGS” in the entire senior class, which was another welcome ending to a very limited-popularity career.

I was kind of a contradiction in terms–a spiritual leader with nice legs, but I claimed my two achievements in a mini-skirt with scriptures in hand.

The seminary appointment got me a full ride scholarship to college, where I pulled nearly straight A’s my first year.  However, my short lived college run went the way of other giddy co-eds that meet really hot upper-classman, marry very very young and don’t have any life plans of their own.

By my second year of college, my life became absorbed into my brand new husband’s life plans and I went creatively and ambitiously to sleep for a decade.

He went to State College to finish his degree and I went with him. (Not as a student.) When he went to Dental School across the United States to Pittsburgh, I followed him with two babies in tow.

When I was 28 we moved to Arizona, and I opened my spiritual eyes and started to wake up and wonder, what other things might I be created for.

By this time, I had three kids, two of which were in school. I still felt I had little pockets of extra time, extra energy to spare, and a wildly creative mind that could not be contained by household things like crafting or decorating or heaven help us, gardening.

I loved being a mom, but there was a lot left of me to still uncover.

So, I went exploring.

I prayed about going back to school and finishing my degree. I really wanted to be a teacher or a psychologist. The answer I received was “no” and I was really really mad at God for that for awhile.

But I had no idea that the coaching industry would soon be emerging and that I could get paid to do BOTH in a much faster path and without the traditional college route.  This is where God led me instead, to a place I that I didn’t know existed, and that was far beyond what the parameters of my imagination could conceive at the time.  (I confessed my error, and thankfully, He still adored me.)

Can someone just give Tony Robbins and Brendan Burchard a great big kiss for me? (It would be weird if “I” did that, but if it’s your thing, go for it!)

These are pioneers for the non-traditional path-takers, the savory, semi-displaced souls that have been found in the “coaching world.”

Enter the era of the “expert.” Where the motto is: “If what you say works for us, we’ll pay you.”

This is what I learned in 2011 and I learned it quickly.  Who knew that the girl who could get elected to absolutely nothing, dropped out of college, would one day have people read what she writes and buy my stuff–No one is more surprised by this than me.

Though, I would not call what I do to be a “job” more like a mad, head over heels love affair that I never want to come out of.  When I am working, I do things I love all day long.

And I can take all the time off I want (and money still comes in.)

I write articles that may or may not have meaning to anyone else but me, but I love the process of it. I coach inspiring people (who are already amazing.)  I sell products that help people live happier and healthier (#doTERRA)  It’s not all easy…I’m not saying that.  Some days it totally kicks my butt and some days untangling situations can feel quite problematic, but like your children, that does not mean that you don’t love it to pieces every minute anyway.
I do. Very much.

Most of the time, I can’t believe I get paid to do this stuff.

I am glad I didn’t finish college, because there wasn’t going to be a place for me,
and no way that I would fit into a single compartment.

I’m also very happy I went looking for that road 10 years ago and I didn’t wait until my kids left home, because they would have been raised by about 1/3 of a person.

Now, that’s not the answer for everyone, but personally, I have grown into who I am through this process, found a better version of myself and a deep, deep love of life that come when you are living as you feel you were born to.  My intent through it all was to be an attentive mom, and stay close to home, which is made possible by running my operation from a cell phone and a laptop computer in small pockets of time throughout the day.

I think the point is that you can do whatever you want to do–in fact, just make it up along the way, and do some tailoring so that it FITS YOU PERFECTLY.

Bestselling Author and award winning actress, Mindy Kaling wrote: (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me)

“If I can give one bit of advice to any drama major, high school theater kid, or inmate who is reading this in a prison library with dreams of being cast in the prison play, it’s this:

WRITE YOUR OWN PART.

It’s the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It’s much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands.  It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.”

That’s what I’m really trying to say here in a reminiscent, round about way, is WRITE YOUR OWN PART.  Do your own thing. Make it up as you go if you have to.

I don’t know when we started to live inside of boxes and feel that it was the only way for us.  Perhaps that’s why I could never succeed when I was INSIDE ONE, cutting off my limbs to fit in.

But when I found my thing, or IT FOUND ME, we were off-road high adventure with no pavement.

As for the spying or Laguna Beach Bum writer, I’m all talk when it comes to a job change, because I have a hard time imagining that I could separate from the love affair I’m currently having.

Though I make it to Laguna as often as I can for chocolate cake and the latest on Joe’s ambitions for the music industry but maaaybe…if I could find some black leather Trinity style-pants, I could wear them while I was there :)

 

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Stop Trying to Be Like Everyone Else

Stop Trying to Be Like Everyone Else

There was once a time in our world where renegades were outlawed.

Shot at.
Hung.
Or burned at the stake.

Today, we are so much more civilized,
We mostly just talk about them behind their backs and don’t invite them over.

People are always telling me that they don’t feel like they fit in, and I’m usually very kind and empathetic. But after the big warm hug, what I really want to say is….

CONGRATU–Freakin–LATIONS.

In our world today, we are so far from our true selves and live inside of hundreds of prisons, why would you want to fit in here?

I mean really, it’s about time you owned the unique parts of yourself and started celebrating.
Instead of hiding.

I have a total heart for renegades.

These are people who do things differently and upset the status quo.
The only way we’ve ever gotten to the next level is by breaking through it.

I mean, how are we going to know what’s possible, until someone, UNTIL YOU, break through the “normal” that you’re surrounded by.

For that to happen, you’re going to have to step out, step up, get moving…and stop apologizing.

What I’m telling you, is that WE NEED you to be DIFFERENT.  Choose a different job than your family will accept.  Adopt the spiritual beliefs that feel right for you, but don’t fit well for your neighborhood. Embrace your unique spiritual gifts that don’t make sense to most people.  Educate your kids the way you believe is best for them.  Leave a bad relationship if God tells you it’s time. Tell the truth that most people aren’t willing to speak out about, let alone acknowledge exists.

All these things, and many others, are brave paths that SOMEONE has to take, in order to blaze new trails in perception, and claim the exultant freedoms, for which we have been created.

The a reason you’re not the same as everyone else is because you were born for something more. You were born to forge a new path for yourself and those coming after you.

If you do it the same way as everyone else is doing it, you’ll get the same results they are getting.

That price is just too BIG to pay for social acceptance, when social acceptance has nothing to offer but a thin blanket for the ego that vanishes the moment you reach for it.

If you agree to be led by the group,
You are also agreeing to get the same results that they do.

But you were created to want MORE.  It’s perfectly okay for them to follow the norm, but it will never EVER be enough for you, (unless you medicate yourself, numb your senses or shut down your true self –and that’s what we call “happinness suicide.”)

You have to be willing to strike out on your own for awhile, and see what’s possible. Even if it means you feel a little bit alone, and even if it means that people that you love, disagree with you, or don’t like you very much.

That’s okay, and in fact, it’s very common (kind of standard actually.)  Sometimes it’s just the way things are when we are blazing new trails.  (Usually, they come around when they see you’re not changing. They have to, if they are going to live in peace with themselves, because ultimately they see the truth that YOUR LIFE is none of their business.)

But until then, you’ll have to stop consulting with the group and make some new commitments.

For Example:

Only TAKE ADVICE from the people who LIVE where YOU WANT TO GO.

I personally never allow people to advise me unless they have DIRECT EXPERIENCE (and positive results) with what I am seeking to create. The worst people to get counsel from are those who think they know, but they have no true personal experience. For example, in the early days of my career, I took advice from people who said women could never be successful at raising a family if they had a job on the side.  But those people had no real experience creating what I wanted to create, so of course they believed that, and that belief was right–for them.  But it wasn’t right for me, and they couldn’t advise me well.  They didn’t know the way because they had never LIVED it themselves, and they weren’t being called to. We often think things can’t be done (or shouldn’t be done) … until WE’VE DONE THEM, and not until, will we see differently.

If you can’t find the right people close to you, STRIKE OUT in WIDER CIRCLES.
There are people like you out there, you just aren’t connected to them yet, and you might be letting yourself get shut down by people who were never meant to be your advisors.

If you don’t see a trail in front of you, then you’re being called to make your own.

So, if you feel a little bit alone, I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong, in fact, EVERYTHING IS JUST PERFECTLY RIGHT.

FYI. Here are a few other symptoms of “Changemakers” … Pathfinders … Trailblazers…

*You’re not sure if you have any right to think the way you do, but you still would never choose to live any other way.

*You feel like people don’t understand you, so you often keep those thoughts to yourself to avoid conflict or confrontation.

*You feel increasingly uncomfortable with teachings & conversations that represent unconscious ways of living.

If that’s you … YOU’RE in good company with me.

I want to wrap my arms around you, and tell you that the world needs you to be EXACTLY as you are.

The greatest things in our world were created by people who did things differently.
And stood for change.

Here are a few of my favorite renegades, the Changemakers of the past, that have broken through very dense ceilings and brought huge gifts into our world.

Ghandi.

Dante.

Jesus Christ.

Mother Teresa.

Abraham Lincoln.

Steve Jobs.

Thoreau

I know that all of these people felt different, alone, misunderstood, and they paid that price to blaze their own path of change here. 

Please feel free to do the same.  If people don’t love you yet, YOU GET TO LOVE YOU, because your own love is more than enough to keep you going. In fact, your own permission, is the only one you’ve ever really wanted.

It’s no small thing to be a renegade.  It takes of lot of courage, and self love, and willingness to open your life to a totally different way of doing things and follow an unknown path, where the only guide is your own beating heart.

But would you really want to live any other way?
I know that even though you get tired sometimes, and feel alone, and perhaps out of place, that you are never going back.

Because as unique as we might be, Changemakers have ONE THING in COMMON.

We have be who we are. There is nothing that the crowd can give us that will ever ever amount to the joy, passion, and love we feel, when we are true to ourselves.

Learn to let go of what they think and focus on what you want for your life.
When you live that in full confidence and you don’t care what they think–or don’t even know–and you love yourself (and them, too), then you know you’re free.

Don’t worry too much, because everything works out in the end.

If you cup your hand around your ear and listen carefully, you will hear the applause.

There are many coming after you that are already celebrating.

You are never alone, but guided and appreciated, deeply loved, and helped constantly along the way in both the physical and spiritual world.

Let me be the first, to give you a standing ovation. Because I am truly cheering you on.
And may your mind be quiet long enough so that you can hear it, too.

 

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Why you need to directly ask the Source…

All attempts to get what we want through indirect means are manipulation.

Including the following:

-Telling our story to get others to feel sorry for us or give love & validation.
-Wanting others to do things for us and using emotional responses to guilt or pressure them into doing so. (like withdrawing love, or getting angry.)
-Using indirect methods of communication instead of open, direct DIALOGUE with the SOURCE.

We are powerful enough to create the LOVE we want and the things we feel are ours to obtain, by going directly to the source and ASKING for what we need.

For example,

if someone says to me, “I am so burdened, so frustrated…”

I am looking for what they want.

I am waiting to hear their direct requests.

“Can you share your love with me?”
“Can you give me some
coaching tips?”

Going to the SOURCE and asking specifically for what we desire is the only true, healthy way. God also waits for us to ASK for what we need and invites us continually in the scriptures to do so.

Using emotion to secure what we want in any other “indirect manner” is out of alignment with our true selves which crave deep honesty, authenticity without masks and meaningful relationships by choice…not guilt ridden obligation.

When we do enough work inside to get ourselves here, and we are this clear and certain, we are now in a position of powerful Creation.

We communicate well and with clarity.

We handle our emotions with responsibility, and yield our words consciously.

With these skills, we can obtain healthy love;

We live in pure relationships that come from original desire, and we are ready to experience true abundance in all it’s forms.

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A Mind Vulnerable to Change

An open mind is so vulnerable to positive change.

You can tell it anything you choose.
“You are greatness, wealth, and passion.”

It will believe you.
It will mimic all of the behaviors that follow those beliefs.

The key is to get the mind OPEN.

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