Author Archives: Heather

Natural Skin Care

JulySpeicals

The average person slathers, lathers, rubs, and sprays 10 different skin care products on his or her body every day–and since our skin acts more like a sponge than a barrier, we absorb the nearly 130 chemicals we regularly expose ourselves to.

Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!

For centuries, people have used essential oils for skin due to their soothing, purifying, and calming characteristics. doTERRA’s natural skin care products deliver the safe alternative you’re looking for!

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Write Your Own Part

listoffailures

I didn’t decide what I wanted to be when I grew up until I was about 35.  Until that long time, I still had dreams of being a spy and one of my idols was Trinity from the Matrix.

trinityRight after I saw that movie (I had a three year old at the time ) I wanted to buy black leather pants and sell my washing machine for a motorcycle.  I would have had NO place to wear those black leather mammas except at the park, which would have been weird.  I mean, I am no Carrie-Anne Moss, but I doubt even she wears them while playing on a swing set.

Of course, then again, I also had the dream of living in Laguna Beach and being a writer who lived by the ocean.  Knapsack. Flip flops. Anything from Quicksilver is a total go for style. Hair in braids or a loose bun, an old writing journal, me and the sea.  This became even more alluring when I found the Koffee Klatch, an eclectic style coffee shop right on the Pacific Coast Highway and manager Joe is a wanna be music producer.  I could totally see myself on those couches writing about whatever fell from the sky.

When I pieced together my current job, it was a miracle, and just happened to be better than both of those previous dreams combined.  

It was particularly astonishing to me, because up until then, I was deeply unsuccessful at everything I had ever done.

Like tragically unsuccessful.

In 6th grade I tried out for Vice President of the School.
I lost.

In 7th grade, I tried out for Cheerleader.
I lost.

I took a breather in 8th grade, in order to gear up for another flaming streak of losses.

I tried out for Cheerleader again in 9th grade.
LOST.

Then Vice President in the 10th Grade.
LOST.

When I was a Junior a girl named Valerie Frandsen asked me if I wanted to be the student representative for the girls Federation Club, and I had absolutely no idea what that was, and I STILL HAVE NO IDEA (I am not sure if that is even the right name for the title,) but after I received the call, I do believe I fell down on my face praising holy things.

The “girls federation whatever it was” got me a back seat ride on a BOAT on a FLOAT (sounds a bit like Dr.Suess), in the 4th of July parade.  Now, that is a sign that you have made it.  When you get to throw small pieces of hard candy at innocent children as you drive by them.  (Oh my gosh, she’s famous, isn’t she? Yes, yes, I am.)

I pretty much thought my career had peaked after that.

But to my tremendous delight, Divine Providence struck as a senior and I was called to be the President of my High School Student Body Seminary. (This is an optional religion class you can take during High School hours, when the small city in which you live is highly populated with religious people.)

I was told by the Seminary Principle that I was the first girl ever to be called to this position, and probably the first girl in the history of our entire church to have it.

I am pretty darn sure he was over-emphasizing for dramatic effect, but was I really going to question that?  Not one bit.

It was rare, and I finally had something to do.

I got to do all kinds things I’d only seen in movies…CONDUCT MEETINGS. GIVE PUBLIC TALKS. ORGANIZE EVENTS.

Oh my, I loved it, this was so much better than throwing candy at small children.

In a big double whammy, at the tail end of my Senior year, I was also unexpectedly voted “BEST LEGS” in the entire senior class, which was another welcome ending to a very limited-popularity career.

I was kind of a contradiction in terms–a spiritual leader with nice legs, but I claimed my two achievements in a mini-skirt with scriptures in hand.

The seminary appointment got me a full ride scholarship to college, where I pulled nearly straight A’s my first year.  However, my short lived college run went the way of other giddy co-eds that meet really hot upper-classman, marry very very young and don’t have any life plans of their own.

By my second year of college, my life became absorbed into my brand new husband’s life plans and I went creatively and ambitiously to sleep for a decade.

He went to State College to finish his degree and I went with him. (Not as a student.) When he went to Dental School across the United States to Pittsburgh, I followed him with two babies in tow.

When I was 28 we moved to Arizona, and I opened my spiritual eyes and started to wake up and wonder, what other things might I be created for.

By this time, I had three kids, two of which were in school. I still felt I had little pockets of extra time, extra energy to spare, and a wildly creative mind that could not be contained by household things like crafting or decorating or heaven help us, gardening.

I loved being a mom, but there was a lot left of me to still uncover.

So, I went exploring.

I prayed about going back to school and finishing my degree. I really wanted to be a teacher or a psychologist. The answer I received was “no” and I was really really mad at God for that for awhile.

But I had no idea that the coaching industry would soon be emerging and that I could get paid to do BOTH in a much faster path and without the traditional college route.  This is where God led me instead, to a place I that I didn’t know existed, and that was far beyond what the parameters of my imagination could conceive at the time.  (I confessed my error, and thankfully, He still adored me.)

Can someone just give Tony Robbins and Brendan Burchard a great big kiss for me? (It would be weird if “I” did that, but if it’s your thing, go for it!)

These are pioneers for the non-traditional path-takers, the savory, semi-displaced souls that have been found in the “coaching world.”

Enter the era of the “expert.” Where the motto is: “If what you say works for us, we’ll pay you.”

This is what I learned in 2011 and I learned it quickly.  Who knew that the girl who could get elected to absolutely nothing, dropped out of college, would one day have people read what she writes and buy my stuff–No one is more surprised by this than me.

Though, I would not call what I do to be a “job” more like a mad, head over heels love affair that I never want to come out of.  When I am working, I do things I love all day long.

And I can take all the time off I want (and money still comes in.)

I write articles that may or may not have meaning to anyone else but me, but I love the process of it. I coach inspiring people (who are already amazing.)  I sell products that help people live happier and healthier (#doTERRA)  It’s not all easy…I’m not saying that.  Some days it totally kicks my butt and some days untangling situations can feel quite problematic, but like your children, that does not mean that you don’t love it to pieces every minute anyway.
I do. Very much.

Most of the time, I can’t believe I get paid to do this stuff.

I am glad I didn’t finish college, because there wasn’t going to be a place for me,
and no way that I would fit into a single compartment.

I’m also very happy I went looking for that road 10 years ago and I didn’t wait until my kids left home, because they would have been raised by about 1/3 of a person.

Now, that’s not the answer for everyone, but personally, I have grown into who I am through this process, found a better version of myself and a deep, deep love of life that come when you are living as you feel you were born to.  My intent through it all was to be an attentive mom, and stay close to home, which is made possible by running my operation from a cell phone and a laptop computer in small pockets of time throughout the day.

I think the point is that you can do whatever you want to do–in fact, just make it up along the way, and do some tailoring so that it FITS YOU PERFECTLY.

Bestselling Author and award winning actress, Mindy Kaling wrote: (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me)

“If I can give one bit of advice to any drama major, high school theater kid, or inmate who is reading this in a prison library with dreams of being cast in the prison play, it’s this:

WRITE YOUR OWN PART.

It’s the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It’s much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands.  It forces you to think about what your strengths really are, and once you find them, you can showcase them, and no one can stop you.”

That’s what I’m really trying to say here in a reminiscent, round about way, is WRITE YOUR OWN PART.  Do your own thing. Make it up as you go if you have to.

I don’t know when we started to live inside of boxes and feel that it was the only way for us.  Perhaps that’s why I could never succeed when I was INSIDE ONE, cutting off my limbs to fit in.

But when I found my thing, or IT FOUND ME, we were off-road high adventure with no pavement.

As for the spying or Laguna Beach Bum writer, I’m all talk when it comes to a job change, because I have a hard time imagining that I could separate from the love affair I’m currently having.

Though I make it to Laguna as often as I can for chocolate cake and the latest on Joe’s ambitions for the music industry but maaaybe…if I could find some black leather Trinity style-pants, I could wear them while I was there :)

 

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Stop Waiting to Pursue Your Dream; It’s Time to Go for It

YoureReadyToPursue-Large

A lot of people tell me they don’t feel qualified, or good enough, to follow their dream.

They want to write a book, but they don’t know if they have something valuable to say.
They want to start a business, but they don’t know if they;ll succeed.
They want to be a coach,  but they didn’t get their degree, so they don’t feel qualified.

Because of their doubt, all these dreams get put on a shelf and saved for later and they won’t take them down until they have some guarantee they are good enough to succeed.

Nonsense.
Your head is sabotaging you.

If you have THESE 3 THINGS, You already have what you need to begin.

1.  DESIRE–and that is key.  (Keep reading, more on this below.)
2. A KNOWING INSIDE that this is right for you, (and it’s alright if there’s fear around it.)
3. WORK ETHIC to take the right steps and hopefully, you get aligned with someone who has a  MAP to show you the way.

That’s it, sunshine.  That’s all you need to have to begin.
But for the natural mind, it’s not enough to satisfy the demands of your ego.

The ego wants some kind of certainty that this is going to work out and in that request, we are deeply mistaken because we are asking for something we only qualify ourselves to receive ALONG the way.

I doubt there has been anyone who created anything on the planet — who started with the certainty that what they were about to do was going to work who did not face doubts if they were good enough to do it.

We don’t even need these things — that’s just your head trying to hurt you.

Here’s what you really need instead.

1. DESIRE to rev up the machine and 2. WORK ETHIC to take us to the next steps.

For example, the DESIRE  to be a coach causes us to share it with a few people and work ethic tells us, yes, it’s time to follow up with them.  We get one client.  They only want to trade services, not pay us.  But as we trade services with them, we see that they got some positive changes from spending time with us and we lap up that evidence as validation that YES, we are on the right track and it’s time to put it into higher gear.

So,  we share our coaching service with more people, and oh my goodness, even put it out there on Facebook in front of God and everyone that WE — DO — COACHING — for MONEY (gasp, I hope my relatives aren’t reading this!) and then we sweat for the next few hours until, oh hey, someone has messaged us and wants to pay us $50.

That’s 50$ of evidence.
They get good results.
More evidence.
We get more clients.
More evidence.

A few thousand dollars and some success stories later, and we’ve not only got some certainty, but we’ve got LAYERS to our CERTAINTY (from the results) and now, you’ve got yourself a business.

Did you start with all that confidence?  No.
You gathered it.

You get it along the way and that’s why I am telling you, that DESIRE is enough to start the gears and WORK ETHIC will take you to the next steps.

If you feel a desire inside to write a book– THE BOOK wants to be created by you.
If you hear music in your head, THE MUSIC wants to be written by you.

The fact that you feel it inside, means that it wants to be born into the world.
Things are created SPIRITUALLY, and then they manifest PHYSICALLY.

There are a lot of book ideas that haven’t come to anyone yet, because there is no place for them in the world yet.

THE FACT THAT YOU FEEL THE DESIRE, is ALL THE PERMISSION YOU NEED.
__________

I got really serious in business about 5 years ago.

Here was my resume at that time.
1. Mom of 4 kids (who were amazing when they came to us.)
2. College Drop out
3. No Work Experience

Wow, the job offers were just pouring in… (I just threw up in my mouth.)
I had ONE THING …. DESIRE.
Okay, two things.  DESIRE and WORK.  I was willing to work and work and work and fail and work and try something without even the slightest awareness that it would succeed for me.

It was enough.

I was too ignorant to calculate if it was going to succeed or not, and no one was more surprised than me when people started following me and buying my stuff.

In the past five years, thousands of people all over the world have attended my trainings, joined my doTERRA wellness community and and I’ve had a close look into many of their lives.

I can tell you from a LOT of observation ….
PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO MOVE WITHOUT a guarantee, are the ones succeeding.

They work with abandon.  They throw themselves IN and they’ll take action waaaaay before they feel qualified.  I love that.

The definition of “courage” is “ALL HEART IN.”

One of my favorite examples of this is PETER from the New Testament.

He’s passionate, and a tiny bit reckless.  He’s lover and a fighter.
He’s the guy without a plan, but when His gut tells Him to go, he moves.

I love that when the guards came for Christ, he got so upset that he lopped off an ear.

Never you mind that he had been told this was going to happen and there was a group of surely 
armed men around him, no…he just felt the passion of protection and the sword went flying.

I love that he fell asleep when Christ asked Peter to wait wait with him.  The single most important event
in the history of the world is occurring a stone’s throw away and Peter’s catching some zzzzz’s.

I love that he denied knowing his leader three times and wept over it and still went on to lead the Christian movement.

Peter acts–sometimes without thinking, and things still manage to work out for him.

He is the most relate-able apostle, the leader for the everyday man and woman.
One of my very favorite parts about Peter’s life happened just before Christ left him in charge.
Here’s what went down..

After their leader’s death, they prepared the body, laid him in the tomb and in no less 
than 3 days, Peter said, “I’m goin’ fishing.” Several others followed him.

Maybe the crew didn’t know they were going to carry on his mission after he left, but once He was gone, they scattered.

Back on the boat, they fished through the night and caught nothing.

In the morning, a man called to them and said, “Children, did you catch
 anything.

They hadn’t. The man (whom they still didn’t recognize) instructed them to cast the net onto the right side of the boat and their net was soon bursting with the amphibious prize.

And then … the revelation.

It was their Leader.
Christ was there.

Upon hearing this, Peter did something very amazing …very cool and SO VERY … um, PETER.
He grabbed his coat (he was naked) and….

He threw himself into the sea.
I had two thoughts when I read this.

1. I didn’t know that people fished naked.

2. I LoooooVE PETER.

The guy is just pure heart.
He recognized his LORD, and nothing could hold him back, not even freezing cold morning sea water.
I’m thinking Peter could have traveled a little faster to Christ rowing the boat, rather than swimming.

But calculated thinking at that one particular moment would have held back his first impulse,
which was to MOVE

LOVE, DESIRE, PASSION, COMMITMENT — It moves us to action.

The plans and guarantees come later. I don’t know all the reasons why did Christ chose Peter lead the church, especially with so much human-ness he seemed to carry.  But I have to believe that HEART was a part of it.

He had a huge calling ahead of him and the point of this whole thing is that HE — WAS — ALREADY — QUALIFIED.
He didn’t know that in the beginning, but he didn’t need to know it. He was going to have his refining experiences and the evidence would come later.

He would succeed at what he came to do. But he didn’t know that either.
The steps would be revealed.

He would actually die during his mission, but he certainly didn’t need to know that.
(Good thing, because that could really mess with your head.)

It seems to me that on our earth journeys we are operating on a ‘need to know’ protocol.
What do you “need to know’ to get started?

1. Do you have a DESIRE?
2. Do you feel you are pursuing the right path for you?
3. Do you have THE NEXT STEP. (not the whole map, just the next thing you are to do.)

If you do, you’re good to go baby, so, stop sweating it, and don’t over think everything ,
or you’ll be stuck on a boat forever waiting for the plan, when the most exciting adventure is waiting for you at sea.

Peter’s calling showed up, and he threw himself into it.

He succeeded–because he was willing to GO when it was time.
So…If you’re calling is here … how about you?

It’s your day to take a dive.

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Stop Trying to Be Like Everyone Else

Stop Trying to Be Like Everyone Else

There was once a time in our world where renegades were outlawed.

Shot at.
Hung.
Or burned at the stake.

Today, we are so much more civilized,
We mostly just talk about them behind their backs and don’t invite them over.

People are always telling me that they don’t feel like they fit in, and I’m usually very kind and empathetic. But after the big warm hug, what I really want to say is….

CONGRATU–Freakin–LATIONS.

In our world today, we are so far from our true selves and live inside of hundreds of prisons, why would you want to fit in here?

I mean really, it’s about time you owned the unique parts of yourself and started celebrating.
Instead of hiding.

I have a total heart for renegades.

These are people who do things differently and upset the status quo.
The only way we’ve ever gotten to the next level is by breaking through it.

I mean, how are we going to know what’s possible, until someone, UNTIL YOU, break through the “normal” that you’re surrounded by.

For that to happen, you’re going to have to step out, step up, get moving…and stop apologizing.

What I’m telling you, is that WE NEED you to be DIFFERENT.  Choose a different job than your family will accept.  Adopt the spiritual beliefs that feel right for you, but don’t fit well for your neighborhood. Embrace your unique spiritual gifts that don’t make sense to most people.  Educate your kids the way you believe is best for them.  Leave a bad relationship if God tells you it’s time. Tell the truth that most people aren’t willing to speak out about, let alone acknowledge exists.

All these things, and many others, are brave paths that SOMEONE has to take, in order to blaze new trails in perception, and claim the exultant freedoms, for which we have been created.

The a reason you’re not the same as everyone else is because you were born for something more. You were born to forge a new path for yourself and those coming after you.

If you do it the same way as everyone else is doing it, you’ll get the same results they are getting.

That price is just too BIG to pay for social acceptance, when social acceptance has nothing to offer but a thin blanket for the ego that vanishes the moment you reach for it.

If you agree to be led by the group,
You are also agreeing to get the same results that they do.

But you were created to want MORE.  It’s perfectly okay for them to follow the norm, but it will never EVER be enough for you, (unless you medicate yourself, numb your senses or shut down your true self –and that’s what we call “happinness suicide.”)

You have to be willing to strike out on your own for awhile, and see what’s possible. Even if it means you feel a little bit alone, and even if it means that people that you love, disagree with you, or don’t like you very much.

That’s okay, and in fact, it’s very common (kind of standard actually.)  Sometimes it’s just the way things are when we are blazing new trails.  (Usually, they come around when they see you’re not changing. They have to, if they are going to live in peace with themselves, because ultimately they see the truth that YOUR LIFE is none of their business.)

But until then, you’ll have to stop consulting with the group and make some new commitments.

For Example:

Only TAKE ADVICE from the people who LIVE where YOU WANT TO GO.

I personally never allow people to advise me unless they have DIRECT EXPERIENCE (and positive results) with what I am seeking to create. The worst people to get counsel from are those who think they know, but they have no true personal experience. For example, in the early days of my career, I took advice from people who said women could never be successful at raising a family if they had a job on the side.  But those people had no real experience creating what I wanted to create, so of course they believed that, and that belief was right–for them.  But it wasn’t right for me, and they couldn’t advise me well.  They didn’t know the way because they had never LIVED it themselves, and they weren’t being called to. We often think things can’t be done (or shouldn’t be done) … until WE’VE DONE THEM, and not until, will we see differently.

If you can’t find the right people close to you, STRIKE OUT in WIDER CIRCLES.
There are people like you out there, you just aren’t connected to them yet, and you might be letting yourself get shut down by people who were never meant to be your advisors.

If you don’t see a trail in front of you, then you’re being called to make your own.

So, if you feel a little bit alone, I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong, in fact, EVERYTHING IS JUST PERFECTLY RIGHT.

FYI. Here are a few other symptoms of “Changemakers” … Pathfinders … Trailblazers…

*You’re not sure if you have any right to think the way you do, but you still would never choose to live any other way.

*You feel like people don’t understand you, so you often keep those thoughts to yourself to avoid conflict or confrontation.

*You feel increasingly uncomfortable with teachings & conversations that represent unconscious ways of living.

If that’s you … YOU’RE in good company with me.

I want to wrap my arms around you, and tell you that the world needs you to be EXACTLY as you are.

The greatest things in our world were created by people who did things differently.
And stood for change.

Here are a few of my favorite renegades, the Changemakers of the past, that have broken through very dense ceilings and brought huge gifts into our world.

Ghandi.

Dante.

Jesus Christ.

Mother Teresa.

Abraham Lincoln.

Steve Jobs.

Thoreau

I know that all of these people felt different, alone, misunderstood, and they paid that price to blaze their own path of change here. 

Please feel free to do the same.  If people don’t love you yet, YOU GET TO LOVE YOU, because your own love is more than enough to keep you going. In fact, your own permission, is the only one you’ve ever really wanted.

It’s no small thing to be a renegade.  It takes of lot of courage, and self love, and willingness to open your life to a totally different way of doing things and follow an unknown path, where the only guide is your own beating heart.

But would you really want to live any other way?
I know that even though you get tired sometimes, and feel alone, and perhaps out of place, that you are never going back.

Because as unique as we might be, Changemakers have ONE THING in COMMON.

We have be who we are. There is nothing that the crowd can give us that will ever ever amount to the joy, passion, and love we feel, when we are true to ourselves.

Learn to let go of what they think and focus on what you want for your life.
When you live that in full confidence and you don’t care what they think–or don’t even know–and you love yourself (and them, too), then you know you’re free.

Don’t worry too much, because everything works out in the end.

If you cup your hand around your ear and listen carefully, you will hear the applause.

There are many coming after you that are already celebrating.

You are never alone, but guided and appreciated, deeply loved, and helped constantly along the way in both the physical and spiritual world.

Let me be the first, to give you a standing ovation. Because I am truly cheering you on.
And may your mind be quiet long enough so that you can hear it, too.

 

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Who We Really Are

TheLittleSoulAndSun

Last night my daughter was curled up on the couch next to me, her body leaning into an over-stuffed white pillow, her hair still damp from a night-time swim.

It was story time, and she wanted to read, “The Little Soul and the Sun.”

As we turned the pages, we read about a little Soul, made of pure Light.

This soul wanted to experience more of itself and went to God to find out how.

God explained that it would be tricky, because all that He had created was formed of His light, and there was a Oneness to everything that existed.

He explained that it was like a million candles glowing in the Sunlight. Each one was a part of the Whole, but each one was Light. They were individual and also One.

The Little Soul was persistent and wanted to experience more of itself, and to perceive more of Who He was.

God told him that the only way to do this–for him to FEEL the depth of who he was individually–would be through CONTRAST.

Because he was PURE LIGHT, and all that he knew was similar to himself…

He would have to experience the opposite–darkness.

The CONTRAST would give the Little Soul the ability to FEEL more of himself.

————

My daughter and I took turns reading, and I watched her slender fingers hold the book and turn the pages. Sometimes, she would stop reading and say, “I don’t understand what this part means.”

I searched my mind for the most simple way to explain it to her.

I told her that if the lights were always on, and the sun was always shining, you wouldn’t know what Light was, because it was the only thing your eyes had ever seen.

But if someone turned the Lights off, and you sat in darkness for a while, you would finally perceive Light, because you knew its opposite. For example…

We are LOVE–but we know LOVE more, through experiencing the opposite of Love–violence and hatred.

We are PEACE–but we know PEACE more deeply, through the opposite.
Like stress and anxiety.

“Oh, I get it.”

That was as far as we got. She was too tired to finish the book and fell asleep quickly.

———–

Later, I was thinking of what we talked about and I had a deep appreciation for ALL earth experiences.

Everything returns to Light.

Everything returns to Love.

The darkness and separation we experience today is only for the shortest period.

Earth school is nothing more than a character development process.

Then my mind went radical.

Maybe it’s a great experience to have people hate you, turn against you, and do harm to you?

First of all, none of it can last.

Yes, there are consequences for those things, but for the one who RECEIVES those experiences, in the end, EVERYTHING comes to wholeness again.

It’s all about the DEPTH that is created THROUGH those allotted time periods.

Maybe God allows us to have these experiences–maybe we even agree to have them at some level–because equal to that depth of darkness, a place is carved out in our perception that positions us for greater and greater heights (and experiences!) of Light to fill it.

Interesting…

“Bless everything.”

That was my conclusion.

Thankfully, we don’t have to wait to go back home to heal.  We can do it NOW.

We can access LIGHT in earth school, the same as we can at home with God.

If we can see a purpose to our “low places” and keep reaching back for our true, loving, perfectly worthy selves, we can accelerate our growth process in every experience.

We can graduate from our experiences more quickly–at an accelerated pace.

Often we get confused by the experiences thinking that the OPPOSITE–is who we are.

In our language, we even claim ownership.

We say, “I AM lonely” … instead of, “I am having the experience of loneliness.”

We are not alone. We are connected to 7 billion other lights on the earth, all the angels in heaven, and to the Creator at the very same time.  Even the trees are made of the same light we are.

In truth, it’s pretty crowded here.

Having the EXPERIENCE of LONELINESS–might be ours for an allotted time, simply so we could see and appreciate just how much company we have.

I love God’s answer to the Little Soul.

You experience who YOU ARE NOT, so you can FEEL who you are.

That is what we are doing here.

We can’t get lost thinking that our low experiences and places ARE us.

They are not us.

They are carving out a space in us for HIGHER AWARENESS.

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Up-Level Your Game

Article-GettingTrainedbytheBest

For a long time, I was a “do it yourself” kinda person with my business.

“I am smart,” I thought, “I can figure this out myself.”

I refused all kinds of advice from people who wanted to help me, because I didn’t think I needed it.

The truth is that I was in denial, over-confident and just down-right cheap.

Then, one day, a mentor walked into my life and shattered my paradigm.

In five minutes, he told me where my business model was weak, and gave me a few steps to fix it.  Business was his career (and his gift) and at that time, I was making about $50 a month, so mine clearly wasn’t.

He wanted to work with me and even though I was terrified and resistant, I said yes.

I admit, that season of learning was like throwing my mind and body into a blender every single day and getting chopped to pieces.

It thought I’d end up with permanent brain damage.

I would lay down at night and my body would literally hurt because so much information was coming through my system and melting my circuits. I’d mentally collapse by 3pm and hope I’d recover by morning.  Sometimes I did.

After a short season of entrepreneurial hustle, my coaching business was born.

The speed of my change was miraculous to me.  For five years, I had inched along in business, barely breaking even and in my first year, I was already selling six figures.

After that initiation season of mentoring —  I committed that I WOULD ALWAYS GET A MENTOR.
And I have employed coaches and mentors and advisers ever since.

I look for the best people who have ALREADY CREATED what I am seeking and then I get their skills into my life.

Now, I’m just a junkie.

I have belief breakthrough coaches, marketing advisers, energy coaches and I just hired — if you can believe it — a closet organizer and personal shopper to help keep my wardrobe video recording ready for the next six months.

My 16 year old son exemplified this lesson recently.  He is a pole vaulter and loves the sport.  He’s great at it, and seems to be fearless when throwing his body into the air.

After an entire season on the track team, his best pole vault record was 9’6″.

He asked us to put him in Pole Vault Academy and on his second day, his  new personal record was 10’6″.

The person who runs the camp happens to be a former Olympic competitor and not only has a pole vault pit, but an entire work out gym, and sports nutrition drinks stocked in the fridge.

He’s been training athletes for years and he knows how to improve someone’s performance within minutes of watching them.

One night my husband were using that as an example, and how it was so worth putting time, money, and energy into their talents and get trained by the BEST in what they want to achieve.

Chase commented on how at the pole vault academy, he was vaulting with college athletes that could jump 19 feet and how he was one of the lowest there.

I said, ‘That’s EXACTLY what you want. You want the people training you to be so good, that you are the lowest in the room and pushing yourself past every limit you have, because when you go back to where you compete in High School, you’ll dominate.”

I laughed because I have lived in this place many times. I have been the least evolved in the room, the least gifted, the lowest earning … learning from the best people.

If you are willing to be the “lowest,” for awhile, there will come a time when that changes.

If you are ready to level-up your game, here are your next steps…

Make a List of Everything You Want to Improve

Then decide, WHERE to GET it.

If you can afford professional coaching, go get it.  Don’t be cheap either.  If it’s for your business, do some research and find the best you are able to pay for, knowing that through the investment, you will make money back if you employ their teaching.  Research them by talking to people they have worked with and MAKE SURE that their skill set matches your needs before you hire them.

If you aren’t ready to pay for professional services, dive into as many online trainings as you can.  You tube. Webinars. There are libraries of content flowing all over the web every day.

If you need to learn how to close sales, sit in the room and watch people do it at their live events.  If you want to learn online business marketing, put your email into as many websites of professional marketers as you can and watch every single step from the inside.

IMMERSE YOURSELF.
That’s the point.
Get all the way inside and watch from the center.

If you feel overwhelmed for awhile, that’s a good thing.  And honestly, it’s totally normal.
When you find you’re in a brain fog, grab some frankincense oil and put it on your temples or hey, even just dunk your head in it. (okay, not really.)

Let yourself get stretched and see that, as you grow, you will fill in the thin spaces.

Give up that part of you that wants to feel certain all–the–time.

When you are willing to be the least talented in the training room, you can have the confidence that you will be your very best when you’re on the field.

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We Are One

RememberingOurselves

One Sunday, I was late for my church meeting because I was coaching a friend through a major life decision.  I sat outside the building and I wondered if I should still go in.  There was about 5 minutes left. I had the feeling that I should and I opened the door, dismissing the thoughts of lateness and awkwardness.

When I sat down, I heard the speaker say, “We are here to ‘mourn with those that mourn’ and “bear one another’s burdens.”

Interesting, I thought. Relevant.  I missed most of church, because I had just been doing that very thing.

As I listened further, she said
“As WE serve other people, we learn to love like God.”

I could feel that message vibrate down to my toes.

I sat and reflected on all the times people had let me into their lives.
They will tell me about the affair, the addiction, the abuse, or their deepest insecurities.

Often, they have been playing the part, or putting on a show for others, but sometimes within a few minutes of meeting me, they will open their core container and spill it’s messy contents.

And I listen.

Somehow God has given me complete love and openness and literally erased all reactions of judgment from my mind.

I did not come to the earth with this gift, as I was quite the bitch in my twenties ready to hammer every living thing with a label.

As I grew up, I asked to love and accept others and He said yes.

When other people see “mistakes” I see a person who is suffering and on an important journey of learning more.

When other people say, “They shouldn’t have done that,” I see someone doing the best they can with what they knew and ready to create a new experience.

I am still a student learning how God loves us. I ask for His love everyday to be shared with me so that I can spread it to others, and I move along at this at my own pace.

What I know is that the “natural mind” is the enemy to this love.

The mind is separation. The mind is a constant spin cycle that the stirs up thoughts of people, and judgments about their lives and the stories we tell and re-tell and fragments the human race into 7 billion separate units.

In the place of “no thought,” total simplicity comes forward.

When I coach with people, I practice “whole body listening.”

I listen with ALL of who I am, which allows me to receive another person with a more mature, more spiritual view.

The immature mind would cut up their life and current decisions into “good or bad,” but whole body listening is to receive ALL of who they are with Grandfather-style wisdom.

It sees ‘mistakes” as experiences and a temporary stage, not a representation of who they are.

The practice of true listening connects us to inner knowing.
Inner knowing is connected to God.

Buddhists call this, “beginner’s mind.”

Beginners mind is to look at someone so fresh and so new, that there is a clear space to receive the truth of their divinity.

In Christianity, this is Charity, or unconditional love.

Unconditional love is an energy of Unity, coming from God, living through every single living being, walking on the street in freedom, or waiting on death row, connecting us all to each other, and to our One Creator.

You and I cannot escape from this reality.

No matter how many stories we tell to each other (or tell about each one another.)
We all share the same heart source.

We’re from the same family, thrown together in an earth-sized blender, scrambled around in every possible scenario, recalling some days, and other days, totally forgetting the reason we’ve been put here together…

IS to RE-MEMBER OURSELVES to LOVE.

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Kicking Fear to the Curb

Article-GetOutOfFear

While I was at the zoo this Spring with my kids, I found a boy about 4 years old who was walking around calling out for his mother, crying in a panic.

I stopped and spoke to him, “Hi sweetheart, my name is Heather. Do you want me to help you find your mom?”

He was so panicked, that he couldn’t look at me or respond.  I tried to comfort him. “We can find her, don’t worry. I will stay with you until we do. What’s your name?”

He didn’t respond to me. He was desperate and in hysterics. I then asked him if we could walk around and look for her.

Crying and crying, he was frozen in fear, completely immobile.

I called my son Isaac and his friend over to see if children closer to his age could reach him. They did their best to talk to him, but he remained hysterical, continuing in uncontrollable sobs.  We tried offering him a drink to distract him for a moment.  No luck.

I knew that if we moved closer to the play structure nearby, we’d probably locate his mother, but his panic had him completely frozen. I didn’t want to invade his space by picking him up in such a fragile state.

I also didn’t want to leave him so that I could look for his mom, because I promised him that I would stay.

Several minutes had passed and by this time, he was exhausted. He squatted on the ground, and folded his small body over his legs, burying his face in his tiny thighs. He looked like he couldn’t take it anymore, and he was giving up.  I felt so much compassion for him and prayed in my heart to know how to help him.

Then it came to me what to do.

I put my hand on the center of his back & spoke in a clear, commanding voice, loud enough so he could hear me.

“Your–mother–is–still–here.”

“She hasn’t left you.”

“She is here,” and “she is looking for you right now.”

For the first time in minutes, he took a deep breath and finally stopped sobbing.

Still whimpering a little, he turned his head towards me, his face streaked with tears.

He had the sweetest brown eyes.  I looked directly into them and told him again, clearly but much more softly this time.

“Your mother is here, sweetheart. She is looking for you right now. If we go together, we can find her.”

This time he stood up. He didn’t speak, but wiped his face, and reached out for my hand that was outstretched and ready for his.

We walked around for a few minutes and when we reached the other side of the playground, he saw his mother and ran to her.

She said to him exasperatedly, “Eli! I have been looking for you! Are you okay?”

She was clearly concerned and immediately took care of him.

Wanting to spare her from any more discomfort, and seeing him in great hands, I felt my job was over.  I watched them hug each other and smiled as I walked away.

As I thought of that experience later, I realized again how FEAR is an emotional response that keeps us frozen. (Fight, Flight or Freeze response.)

When we are in a place of uncertainty, our deepest fears rise up and cause us to ‘freeze in our tracks.’

What scares us the most is that we are ALONE, or losing something we care about and that IT IS OUT of OUR CONTROL.

Most of the time our fears are far exaggerated beyond what is actually happening, but when we are inside that fear response, it’s so intense that our emotions are flooding over and wiping out rational thought.

Being FROZEN keeps us from solving the problem.

We are never out of control or out of options.  The faster we realize that, the more quickly we can come to solutions.

Here are a few suggestions that will help you calm down the fear response and get you back to center:

  1. Call someone who is SKILLED at coaching you.

This is not the time to call your dramatic friends who want to get all emotionally involved.  You need the stable friend; the conscious coach who will keep their feet on the ground and help you stand up and walk out of the tidal wave.

When my husband was in stomach surgery to remove part of his digestive tract, his 90 minute procedure went hours over the scheduled time.  I was mostly calm until the surgery went into it’s 4th hour. When I looked at the clock and saw how long it was taking, a fear response turned on, and a tidal wave came and washed me out of logic.

I immediately texted my friend, Kalenn.

“David’s surgery is going over. Can you coach me?”

In 60 seconds we were on the phone together.

What are you feeling?” She asked.

Fear. Panic.” I responded, emotional and under-water.

What’s the trigger?” She asked.

“Surgery is taking hours longer than I was told.”

What does that mean to you?” She inquired.

I am afraid something bad happened.” I said.

What I loved about Kalenn’s coaching is that SHE STAYED STEADY.  She is well practiced and knows what to do.  If she got emotionally involved and let MY FEAR cause her to react, she would have been no use to me. One of us needed to stay on the shore. She talked to me lovingly but logically.

If they are taking more time with him, it probably means that they are being so careful and being extra sure to get everything out.  That is going to take more time, right?”

When she said that, my panic response stopped.

I breathed. I found my footing. I stood up in the tidal wave and in 30 seconds I was back.

She kept talking to me telling me that he was safe, and that I could handle this, and showing me the positives.

She honored exactly how I was feeling, while asking me the right questions so I could stand up and discern fact from fiction and walk out of fear on my own.

FACT: He was in surgery longer than I expected.

FEAR: Something bad has happened to him.

Fear has one pattern.
Take a simple fact, shower it with gasoline and light a match of tragic meaning.

It is estimated that 90% of our fears never — even — happen.

They are not based in fact or logic and worrying about them BEFOREHAND, does no good.

Even if there IS SOMETHING we need to address, we are more prepared to respond well if we are NOT in fear, but we are of sound mind.

That’s my first suggestion: CALL a SKILLED COACH or FRIEND.

Have support available and KNOW who those people are.

Here are some qualities that disqualify candidates from this ring.

  • People who tell you not to feel how you are feeling, or minimize it or think it’s stupid.
  • People who offer their own opinion and try to get you to do what they think is best.
  • People who will share your vulnerabilities with others, gossip about your issues or perhaps tease or make fun of you later.

People have to QUALIFY themselves to be in sacred spaces of our lives.

Kalenn, and other members of my inner circle, have gained my trust and because they have proven themselves by their pure intent and are qualified at coaching.

—–

If you don’t have someone available to you, and you NEED to rely on yourself, here’s what you can do.

  1. Take deep grounding breaths. Breathing oxygenates the body and calms the system. If you are able to lay your body flat or get in nature, that can calm the mind and the slow down the cortisol (stress hormone) flushing through your system.
  2. Say a prayer; ask for what you want; ask for the next steps.
  3. Choose a mantra to repeat over and over again like,
    • “Things work out.”
    • “I can do this.”
    • “God is watching out for me.”
    • or pick whatever works for you.

Whatever the tool we use, the most important thing is to KEEP MOVING
when you are feeling fear (even if it’s just to keep your mind moving)
so that you can step into solutions.

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Business is Built by Beliefs!

APlaceForMe

Last year, I took a group of 85 entrepreneurs through one of my courses called Belief Breakthrough. It was astounding to me to see how directly their blocks in production were related to their own beliefs about themselves. In a matter of minutes, we would hit right to the CORE BELIEF where the problem existed.

I will always remember one woman whose business was stalled and had been for some time.

At times, my intuition kicks in when I am coaching and I asked her, “Is your life in transition?”

Very emotionally, she responded, “Yes. Completely.”

I could quickly perceive what the problem was…
We are creating our lives according to our deepest beliefs.
Not what We-think-we believe…but we ACTUALLY do believe, at the programmed, sub-conscious level.

Fortunately, your mind will do what you tell it to
The sub-conscious energies of the brain respond to request and command, and if your tools can get to the deeper layers, it will adapt to what you are telling it.

I did my process with her.

These were the new beliefs:

“I always have a home. No matter where I am, I always have a home with myself.”
“I am found. I am on the map. God has me on the radar.”
“No matter my temporary unknowns, I always have myself and God, and that is enough.”

She broke down completely when I said these words.

APlaceForMe

She could barely utter “thank you” and she wrote me a lengthy email afterwards amazed at how I could have known what she was going through and knew just what to say.

Her business was stalled because her LIFE was in transition and because she felt lost, everything else felt lost to her.

I loved that experience. It reminded me how powerful beliefs are…
and how we create our entire lives from this central focal point.

We can just as easily program peace and joy as we can stress and suffering.
We just have to know what to look for and what to CHANGE.

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Arrive at Happy

Tonight a woman said to me, “I love what you have been writing this year. I connect to it so much more than what you were writing last year.”

I paused before responding, looking for the meaning. (Did I used to suck or something?) I didn’t know what she meant.

She explained, “Well you’re more vulnerable now. So, it’s easy to connect to you, because it feels like you’re more like the rest of us.”

I was genuinely trying to understand, and still perplexed. She tried to help me out.

“Well, you know, YOU’VE made it. And when you write in a vulnerable way, it makes the rest of us feel like we can connect to you, even though you’re who you are.”

Ahhh….I burst out laughing inside my own head. Laughter that comes from someone who gets the joke. I thought…

“Oh, you think I have my shizz together? Is that what you’re saying?”

Well, I don’t. I am deeply blessed and out of order at the very same time and I am totally cool with it. My pursuit of trying to look a certain way has been replaced by a deeper pursuit of freedom, made possible by radical honestly.

I — want — to — be — FREE.
REAL.
AUTHENTIC.
HAPPY.

In the end, all I want is HAPPY.

And I know that she was being genuine and totally sincere and I hugged her and said, “We are all the same and we are all in this together,” and I got a picture with her super cute face.

We are ALL – EQUALS and we each have the same gift of life and opportunity to make a difference here, stamp our lives with meaning and find our way to joy the best we know how…big fat messes, mixed with blessings and mis-perceptions adjacent to kernels of truth.

The only way you know you’ve made it is…

If you’re happy.

There is no place to arrive, but there.

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